Friday, September 23, 2011


Time can be more then one thing. It can drag on and seem to take forever. Time can get away from you and you will find yourself wondering where it went. Your life gets so busy you miss out on things you never thought you would miss.

My time is being cut short with someone very important in my life. My great grandma who is 89 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago. Thursday September 15th 2011 they told us that she only has 3 days to live. I was devastated because as my life has been going on I have not even seen her for almost a year. The last time i saw her was over Christmas for our family Christmas. She was sitting up and talking to all of us and she was confused a little but she still remembered us. I feel horrible about myself because I used to live a few blocks from he nursing home she is living at and I was always "to busy" to go visit her. Now that my time is running out, very quickly, I am scrambling for TIME to see her. I feel like I missed out on so much. Now all I do is pray for more time. Lost time can never be made up and memories can not be made. I cant go visit her and make up years of time.

I went to see her the very next day after I found out she didn't have a lot of time left. I really just wanted to see her and hold her hand. I went with my mom because I knew that I could not handle going by myself. I knew she cant remember a lot of things and people but I really just wanted to see if she remembered me. I asked her one thing that I knew she might remember but was not sure. I asked her "Grandma do you remember the time I came to stay with you over the summer?" She said "oh ya".

This one year she kept asking me when I was going to come stay with her. Well I never had any time to because I was so busy with running and my friends. Plus she lived near Harlan so that was a long drive. So when the time came for me to go to the Harlan cross country came in 2007 I called her up and asked if I could come stay with her one night so that I would not have to get up so early in the morning for this came and drive almost an hour. So of course she said she would love to have me come out and stay. So my mom dropped me off at her house and visited for a bit and then left. I remember it being dinner time so she took me over to this little diner that they had in town and she bought me dinner and a snickers ice cream bar. We went back to her house and I remember that she just wanted to watch her soap operas. So around 8:00 pm she was ready for bed. HOLY COW it was still light out. I was wide awake but I went to lay down anyway. I remember thinking that I was glad I had my Ipod because the house was silent and the room was freezing.

I finally fell asleep and at 6:00 am ya super early she woke me up. I had about 2 hours left until my friend came to get me. So I ate breakfast and we watched more soap operas. My friend finally came to get me and I said good bye. For months after that she could not stop talking about how much fun we had and she kept saying this is "My Jen."

I wish that I would have taken more out of that time with her then I did. Rather then wishing time went faster, I wish I would have looked at that time with her differently. I only regret that I didn't make more time for her.

So for everyone that might read this I will let you know that I am so glad that we are given notice of this so that we can spend as much time with her as we want before its her time to go. I look at things now like this might be the last time i will see you and that tomorrow might not come. Live each day like its your last day. I never want to regret anything so learn from everything.

Our family is in need of a lot of love and prayers. We are going through a hard time. I will be sad when the time does come but I know that she will no longer be suffering and that she will be back with her husband and that she will be happy again.

No comments:

Post a Comment